Browse By

Here are the 3 compatibilities you need to have a great marriage

successful marriage

Marriage is a sacred institution. “Being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives”- New York Times.
However, to keep your marriage happy is important. But how to do that?

“Chemistry” says Peter Pearson, a couples’ therapist as he explains how Chemistry is the salt of a relationship. He suggests that not only are sexual chemistry and passion extremely important but also Social chemistry- the way you feel when you are with your partner.

Canadian Psychologist Eric Berne also developed a model called “Transactional Analysis” in 1950s and 60s that tried to explain how two people in a relationship, interact or transact. He argued, learning from Sigmund Freud that every person has three ‘Ego States’ – The parent, The child and The Adult. In case of compatibility, The parent asks about similar values and beliefs, The child seeks to know if the two have fun together , are spontaneous and find each other hot. While The adult enquires if they find each other bright and can solve problems together. Having symmetry in all the three phases is ideal but if two people balance each other, it is suffcient.

But if the partners take up roles that are poles apart, it works well until one gets tired. And to avoid chaos because of this , a couple must undergo the ‘Differentiation’ process. Differentiation means to understand that the two of you are unique individuals who are different from each other, have different ideas, beliefs , feelings and interests. You need to know that you are different as a person and also be able to separate yourself from your significant other while being with them. To accomplish this , you need great effort and care for your dear one.

Apart from these theories , to truly evaluate your compatibility you must reflect upon the questions that do you really enjoy with each other? Do you love him/her? Or do you have happy memories together?

Reflect, act and be happy! 🙂

Summarized up to 57 % from – Psychologists say you need these 3 compatibilities to have a successful marriage